Being Well in Suffolk

Meet the Team

Sue Gray

Therapist Trainer Consultant

Contact Information

I work in a variety of ways - one to one therapy, training & facilitation and as a consultant with organisations. I am also an active member of several peer support networks

About Me

During my working career I have worked in a variety of settings within health and social care -  in the NHS and in charities and in my own private practice. I have been married, have two children and now grandchildren.

I have recently stopped working full time as the director of a mental health charity to enable me to have a more flexible working and home  life.

I started my career as a neurological physiotherapist - moved on the run a Brain Injury Unit in which I also worked as a counsellor for people with brain injury and their families. I then moved to being the Director of a hospital followed by business and service development in the NHS and also the charity sector. Throughout this time I have also been a therapist and trainer in the emotional health and mental wellbeing arena.

I have a particular interest in encouraging people to increase their knowledge and skills so they feel more confident and successful in creating a life that works well for themselves and feel empowered to ask for additional help when they need it and have effective systems in place to maintain the balance and happiness of their life.  

If you want more information about my career do go and visit my profile in Linked In  or give me a ring.

I have undertaken various types of training in psychological and emotional health methods and models.  I have an MSc in Rehabilitation Psychotherapy, and am an accredited teacher of CCI Co Counselling and PSN (Peer Support Network) LINK to PSN page . I am an accredited NLP practitioner and I have recently added  to my tool kit by undertaking the Human Givens Diploma .

More about the way I work on the next tab.

How I Work

Practitioners within the BWIS group have differing skillsets and approaches. This tab refers to the individual’s ways of working rather than the group as a whole.

I meet people one to one for therapy sessions, or I offer workshops and training programs where I get to know people as part of a group. For consultancy work do ring me and discuss what you are looking for to see if I can help.

When we meet for 121 therapy I will listen carefully to you and work with you on whatever it is you would like to change and understand better in your life using the tools I have learnt and my own experience of life. We will have a clear agreement and boundaries about how we will work together and what each of us will bring to the meetings we have. All our meeting are confidential unless I feel that any information you share is putting you or another person at risk.

If you sign up for one of the Courses I am involved in usually we will have met on a taster session.

In addition to therapeutic work with people I also undertake projects as a Consultant and Researcher. I am involved at the moment with a project to explore what works best to help people who get dementia at a young age (30 to 65 years) to live well and happily.

The therapeutic background to the approach I use most frequently in all aspects of my work is the Human Givens Approach

What is The Human Givens Approach?

The human givens framework offers a revolutionary new organising idea derived from the latest scientific understandings from neurobiology and psychology, ancient wisdom and original new insights. It is the first ever bio-psycho-social model of psychotherapy.

Disseminated and taught since 1997, and initially focused on the treatment of mental distress, this new school of psychology and psychotherapy is rapidly being recognised as a profoundly important shift in our understanding of human functioning. It has been called “the missing heart of positive psychology” and many now refer to it as “enhanced CBT”.

The startling success produced by the efficacy, adaptability and practical nature of these new ideas, is borne out by the speed at which this model is moving into new areas, ranging from psychotherapy, education and social work to international diplomatic relations and the corporate world of business.

What are The Human Givens?

We are all born with innate knowledge programmed into our genes. Throughout life we experienced this knowledge as feelings of physical and emotional needs. These feelings evolved over millions of years and, whatever our cultural background, are our common biological inheritance. They are the driving force that motivates us to become fully human and succeed in whatever environment we find ourselves in. It is because they are incorporated into our biology at conception that we call them ‘human givens’.

Given physical needs: As animals we are born into a material world where we need air to breath, water, nutritious food and sufficient sleep. These are the paramount physical needs. Without them we quickly die. In addition we also need the freedom to stimulate our senses and exercise our muscles. We instinctively seek sufficient and secure shelter where we can grow and reproduce ourselves and bring up our young. These physical needs are intimately bound up with our emotional needs – the main focus of the human givens psychology.

Given emotional needs: Emotions create distinctive psychobiological states in us and drive us to take action. The emotional needs that nature has programmed us with are there to connect us with the external world, particularly to other people, and to survive in it. They seek their fulfilment though the way we interact with our environment. Consequently when these needs are not met in the world, nature ensures that we suffer distress i.e.- anxiety, anger, depression etc. and our expression of that distress, in whatever form it takes, has an impact on those around us. People whose emotional needs are met in a balanced way do not suffer mental health problems. When psychotherapists, teachers and managers pay attention to this, they are at their most effective. Along with these physical and emotional needs nature has given us an internal guidance system to help us get these needs met. We call these ‘resources’ Our resources are the capabilities we have that enable us to meet our emotional needs.

Emotional Needs

Our Emotional Needs include:

·         Security – safe territory and an environment which allows us to develop fully.

·         Attention (to give and receive it) a form of nutrition.

·         Sense of autonomy and control – having volition to make responsible choices.

·         Being emotionally connected to others. Feeling part of a wider community.

·         Friendship, intimacy – to know that at least one other person accepts us totally for who we are ‘warts ‘n all’.

·         Privacy, the opportunity to reflect and consolidate experience.

·         Sense of status within social groupings.

·         Sense of competence and achievement.

·         Meaning and purpose – which comes from being stretched in what we do and think.


Along with these physical and emotional needs nature has given us an internal guidance system to help us get these needs met. We call these ‘resources’ Our resources are the capabilities we have that enable us to meet our emotional needs.

Some of our Resources include:

·         Long Term Memory

·         Ability to connect with others

·         Imagination

·         Emotions and Instincts

·         A Rational Mind

·         A pattern matching brain

·         An observing self

·         A dreaming brain

All of these resources enable us to get our physical and emotional needs met.

For further information on Human Givens go to:

Individual Therapy

The Human Givens Approach starts out with finding out about you and the difficulties you are experiencing. More often than not, right from the first session we will also begin using relaxation methods, together with a wide range of other techniques. These exercises work to activate your own natural resources and are key to providing you with immediate relief from psychological stress.

We will also work out some achievable and realistic goals to focus on, starting with small manageable steps and continuing at a pace which suits you. We will work together to set goals that are clear and meaningful to you.

From here we can activate your natural resources to help you to feel better and take back control of your life.

At each session we check out what effects the treatment is having on you and, if necessary, work through any unanticipated difficulties.

Treatment ends when you are happy that you have made enough progress to continue living a healthy life without regular assistance from me.

Human Givens Therapists do not encourage people to become dependent on therapy.

How long will it take?

Everyone’s situation is different, but we aim to take as few sessions as possible and you can fully expect improvements to begin from the first session. The average number of sessions is between four and six sessions.

Fees and Costs

The BWIS group pages define the costs for events and services on the relevant pages. This page describes the fees and costs for this individual team member ONLY. Other team members may have different costs and fees.

Individual Therapy:   Individuals per 60 minute session                     £75        

                                      Couples per session   90 minute sessions        £150

Payment Methods:   Preferred method - Electronic bank Transfer to Santander,  Sort Code 09-01-28, Account Number 67891505.                                                            Or by cash or cheque at the end of the session. Receipts provided.

Bursaries may be available – please talk to me if cost is an issue

NB: Full fee charged if you cancel your session with less than 24hours notice except in exceptional circumstances


Training Courses and Workshops

PSN CCi - Peer Support Network  - Next Tasters and Training. please click this link for further information

Research and organisational Consultancy

Please contact me to discuss your needs and I can let you know a cost



22 June 2018
121 Work coaching
Sue taught me that what I think effects how I feel - and then supported me to apply that knowledge to take back control of my life and be a more confident and calmer team leader. She was kind and I felt she 'got' me and understood what I was saying.